About how we met
I scrolled through some files on my computer the other day and was 100% amused by how many pictures I found of Justin mixed in there from before we even really knew each other!
We met in 2016 when I first moved to Provo, UT.
My mission leader co-chair and I were called on assignment from my bishop to visit a certain number of male & female student apartments to meet some of the people in our ward. Lo and behold! Justin was in one of those apartments we were asked to visit.
In my brown polka-dotted dress, I took my place on the living room floor while all the roommates were being summoned from their rooms to come out and say "hi." Someone probably offered me a place to sit, but it didn't really matter; the floor is usually my most comfy place to sit. Dumb dress.
Justin was the only person in the room while we waited, so we started to chat with him. Small chat, you know? The usual stranger-to-acquaintance introductory talk.
After the "Where are you from's," and "How long have you lived in Utah" questions, there were a couple things about our conversation that I still remember to this day.
The first was when I asked about his career.
"I am the father of bacteria and viruses," he said.
....
The discomfort settled in when I realized I didn't have a follow-up comment for that. At the time, I always had a good follow-up comment in my expert small-talk inventory.
Confused, I just looked at him until he finally gave me more.
"I graduated in microbiology & would like to go into immunology and cancer research. I cultivate bacteria and microorganisms, so I'm basically their father."
"Ohhhh. That makes more sense now. But gheez, did you really have to say you are the father of bacteria? That was awkward!" I thought to myself.
A judgment about him had been made. Nerd.
I do remember feeling impressed by the close relationship he had with his siblings, and how he spoke very highly of his family.
Then we left.
Apart from a few ward and loose friendship hangouts, we didn't notice each other again for a year. [Justin might have a different take on this comment, who knows? He doesn't blog, so this is my story.]
Here are some of the fun pictures I found between the one time we met briefly, to actually becoming friends a year later:
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Feb 12, 2017 - opp ends of the room at the same non-alcoholic beverage party. (Obviously before COVID).
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| June 17, 2017 - A day-trip!! My friends did a lot of those back in the day. |
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| June 21, 2017 - I have 2 passes. Want to go to the Lagoon with me? I knew these two fellows had flexible enough schedules and would be down. |
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| July 8, 2017 - Our friend needed help blowing up enough balloons to fill the room. Apparently Justin actually filled up balloons there while I just played in them.
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| Oct 7, 2017 - Last minute day trip to S UT |
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| Same day trip....I was on my way to retrieve the camera. Justin was apparently trying to turn me on. He knows I just want him for his body now. His fault, not mine. (okay, okay. JUST KIDDING PEOPLE) |
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| He's just so cute, so I added it. :P Same trip. |
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| Oct 7, 2017 - Love this pic for the vibe it gives me that this was really the start of all my adventures with Justin. |
Now, Justin has his perspective of this entire timeline, but I can really only go off of my angle hehe. Truthfully, it is so fun looking back and realizing that we are still friends with most of the people in these pictures (even if I cropped a load of them out)! They are still some of our absolute closest friends.
That said, you have to understand that in this apartment complex, we did things together in the most unorganized groupings. There were no cliques or exclusions - that I knew of at least. Everybody accepted everybody. And we were always walking the 20 feet across the apartment complex or up a few stairs to get to the neighbor's apartment and hangout. It was like a family that was always up in each other's business and spent time in each other's apartments because we could. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times XP. But it was mainly the best of times. :)
So the fact that I have a pretty decent amount of photos with Justin in them doesn't necessarily mean that I had an interest in him or that we were even close friends for that matter. Our friendship was stealthily built over time. I am super glad that I can look back and spot so many of them! :D
I can't remember if it was in September or October 19th of that year that Justin left a voice message on my phone. Ooooooh, I had an inkling for what it might be about!! It was the most formal interaction we had had. Phone call? That only happens in this ward if someone is ready to ask a gal on a date! So, what was the safest thing to do? Right! Ignore it.
(I still have the voicemail saved on my phone, but have no idea how to access it.)
Eventually I had to address it. I couldn't just ignore it indefinitely! I'm not THAT cruel. Or am I?
I had recently broken up with the ex-boyfriend and wasn't really feeling umphed about dating again. So, after all my silent rehearsals of how to respond, I called him and politely turned the date down.
Man handled it like a champ. He didn't really put too much weight on it, honestly. He just shrugged his shoulders and figured it wasn't a big deal.
The [cool] thing about being in a close friend circle issss...you still get to see each other all the time. It took me a lot to learn to not be awkward about this sort of thing. But I was okay not leaving the ward right away because of it, you know what I mean ladies?
Anyhow, the brave soul did ask me again some time later. I still turned it down. Not for me, bruh.
Most dating connoisseurs out there aren't going to love the choices I made for the next several months after this.
After turning the dates down, ironically, Justin and I actually became EVEN BETTER friends. Was I stringing him along? I would tell you no. And he would tell you no, too. We were both A-Ok with just being friends and we just fancied having a good old time with each other, even if the next level interest wasn't there....For me.
Justin held on to a sliver of hope, but it didn't stunt his personal growth in dating by any means. And I liked that about him.
Then December came. Winter break!
I stayed to work the holidays that year, and got 'left behind' with a few other stragglers while most everyone else went home to their families for the holidays.
Justin's family lives near here, though, so he would hop between apartment and his family's place all winter break long. At some point, we being the cool party people that we were, decided to jam the place up with some exciting activities for everyone left behind to look forward to.
Bowling, just dance parties, New Year's Eve get together...Justin and I buddied up and took the lead.
And we hung out every one of those days. Sometimes just the two of us. It was so. much. fun. Almost an addiction.
After our friends started coming back home, our daily hangouts continued. With or without other friends, we always had some spontaneous idea we were both excited to hop on and do.
But, you know something? I still knew NOTHING about this kid. We had hung out many times and yet we had only ever talked about the stuff right before our faces.
Arms length was my safe spot. I liked arms length. With anybody, really.
_______________________________________________________________________The thing is, once I began going on dates again, Justin wasn't. And it bugged me. It bugged me because it became too clear to deny that he was holding on to a chance, and it was going to be up to me about which way it was to go.
Look at me! 3 months in and I was going STRONG in my resolve to not even go on one date with him. (We both admit now that all those one-on-one hangouts....yeah, those clearly fit the definition of a date. But I kept the curtains pulled tight through it all.)
Hahaha. Perfect example.
Justin invited me to a Killer's concert with him. I was beginning to decline invitations to do stuff with him for the very reason that I didn't want to "string him along." But, it was on my birthday....And he was my best friend at the time.
So I made the rule.
Yes, I would go....HOWEVER, this is not a date. I made sure Justin was very clear. NOT. A. DATE.
We went. He payed for dinner at Johnny Rockets (I tried to pay for my own, but he insisted because it was my birthday and I couldn't say no). And we had a blast at the Killers concert.
But it was NOT a date.......Oh Tiffany.
_______________________________________________________________________He took really good care of me when I came down with pink eye and the flu.
I felt too sick to eat all day, and when he found out, he went to the supermarket at midnight to make sure I had something to eat. I didn't know that he also had the flu.
Was he just clingy? .........Oh Tiffany.
_______________________________________________________________________I went over to see a couple of girlfriends (who were also previous/future roommates of mine and knew my situation with Justin). After eating some gluten-free muffins, we came down to the topic of me & him.
Let me tell you now. I feel most uncomfortable when I have to talk about boys. Always have. I still feel weird talking about my relationship with my own husband even if it's the basic stuff of how we met and of how we fell in loooove. Very hard for me to do. Yep.
So, I tried not to perspirate too much when something that my girlfriends asked me about innocently and lightly was actually weighing on me to my core. Haha. They didn't know that. And I tired to play it cool, so I tried not to let them see my anxiety hahaha.
Anyway, at some point they both nonchalantly advised, "It's up to you, but it really is just a date."
They don't know how those words thumped in my chest. IT'S NEVER JUST A DATE. But for a while before that I had felt that maybe I took dating too seriously sometimes, and that maybe it really was just a date. "Just go, it's no big deal," I reasoned.
Little did they know. They unlocked a channel that allowed me to give myself permission to go on a date with someone who I clearly already liked very much...
It was also the beginning of a long, nauseas rollercoaster with Justin that lasted 2 1/2 years.
Would I have still gotten on the ride if I had known that I was about to enter the biggest emotional purge of my life? Digging out my own baggage that I never even knew existed?
HECK YES.
The experience and having Justin now are infinitely worth it.
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